


Plague

by meakashi



Category: Higurashi no Naku Koro ni | Higurashi When They Cry
Genre: Angst, Gen, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Internal Monologue
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-17
Updated: 2020-03-17
Packaged: 2021-02-28 23:54:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 621
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23185834
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meakashi/pseuds/meakashi
Summary: A brief internal monologue of she who was cursed.
Kudos: 8





	Plague

The moon gently glistened, faded by the cloudy sky. I felt the gaze of Oyashiro follow me, the crunches of its footsteps echoing after her own as she trudged through the piles of waste. The stench of the rotting bodies was really beginning to get to me.

Once I managed to hide them, I lied on the floor of the old van I called my own - it used to be a place I loved, a place I felt safe. Now, nowhere felt safe.

I want them back. I want my friends back. I want my spirits back, our club activities, everything. I used to preach about cherishing those moments and people because you never knew when it’d all be taken away from you. I wanted it back, I wanted it back more than anything.

I love them. After all this, they’re gone. They’re going to abandon me, they’re going to kill me. They go so far to hide it, it makes me sick. No one is good, are they? They only act kind and caring so you’ll grow attached, then they’ll exploit and use you. They’ve taken it so far… why me? Why do they want me dead? Why do they want to exploit me?

_ I still love them. _

I’m so angry. I’m so hurt. I keep shifting between intense feelings of emptiness and despair. I wished it didn’t have to be like this. I love them so much, even now.

I still love my friends - they were the most important people in my life. It hurt. It hurt so badly. Everyone, the world had turned its back on me and I couldn’t convince myself otherwise. Oyashiro watched over me, and I could feel it. The anger.

I was cursed, everyone around me affected as well. The happy days were over. I could feel them creeping in my veins again… I scratched, my hands bloodied again. I could never go back to the happy life I cherished so much. I’d do anything to get those days back.

This felt like it’s all happened before, reality so distant from me, reading so far into everything that nothing felt real anymore. It was a constant bad dream, one I’d never be able to wake up from. It made me wish I’ve never been born.

Memories that didn’t belong to me flashing, memories of my friends doing unspeakable things. No one could be trusted. It was me, Rena Ryuugu, against the world. The curse would kill them all, the aliens… it was too much. No one listened to me, no one believed me, nothing made any sense.

This place was designed to kill us. After everything, my friends went so far to deceive me. They saw the unspeakable thing I did - I’m a murderer. My hands will never be clean, my soul tainted and my blood cursed. I don’t want to believe it, but they’ve all come to hate me. The Rena they loved is gone. There’s only the demon, the voices, the footsteps. 

There was blood everywhere, staining my fingers, staining the floors, staining the treasures that used to mean so much. Now, they only reminded me of the happy days I could never return to. I longed to sleep, to sleep a dreamless sleep and be free from this curse. My very existence was cursed, so I couldn’t even have that. 

I can’t die yet. I’m the only one who can stop it. They’ve all turned their backs on me - yet I had to save hinamizawa. I had to stop the aliens. Someone had to. 

I felt myself growing dizzy and disoriented, likely from blood loss. I was too pained to care. I heard the voices again, apologizing over and over again. 


End file.
